THE ANATOMY OF A 'VOGUE' WEDDING

A wedding is a momentous occasion in any person's life. Some weddings, however, are more special than others — those being the ones covered by Vogue.
What separates a civilian wedding from one worthy of the fashion bible's attention? Here are some questions to get you started: Were one or more of the Courtin-Clarins sisters in attendance? Was the bride's veil longer than her entire body? Did she arrive at the ceremony by boat? Did Snoop Dogg surprise guests with a performance? Was Anna Wintour the mother of the groom? If the answer to any of these questions is yes, then the wedding has earned the right to immortality in the annals of Vogue's aspirational wedding column, conveniently available online for all to browse.
In order to understand the distinctive characteristics of a Vogue wedding, we analyzed the 57 ceremonies profiled by the title since September 2010. Of this group, only two weddings featured a same-sex couple (those of Coach Creative Director Stuart Vevers and Joseph Altuzarra, respectively) and only eight weddings look place outside of Europe and the U.S. There are lot of Brits and Italians having fancy weddings, apparently, and Vogue is on the case.
To simplify the project, we relied only on information included in the wedding profiles. These all varied in coverage and often did not make mention of every notable guest or family member that could have impacted Vogue's decision to cover the event in the first place. We also skipped weddings that were covered by the magazine but did not include interviews or access to personal images — the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge's wedding, for example.
Enough preamble. On to the cold, hard, lace-trimmed facts.
THE BRIDES
Who are these women and how do they get chosen for such an auspicious profile? Sometimes the piece itself provides plenty of justification. Fashion entrepreneur and presidential granddaughter Lauren Bush's wedding to David Lauren, son of Ralph, is a match made in Vogue heaven, no question. But sometimes the bride is an "Icelandic former model" and the reason for coverage is a bit murkier. Of the weddings we examined, 13 brides were fashion, jewelry or furniture designers and six were models. Eighteen worked in some kind of creative field, from filmmaking to writing; four worked in PR or marketing; four worked in finance; three were in business development; two were stylists; one was a lawyer and four had no discernible occupation.
Eight people featured worked at Vogue or Vogue UK, either currently or previously, and two people were related to someone on staff — proving that working in the fashion industry or at Vogue is a big reason that couples get chosen. See former Vogue market assistant Mollie Ruprecht's three day wedding (#thebattwedding) in St. Barts, above.
THE DESIGNER GOWNS
The Vogue bride has extremely high tastes, of course. With the exception of a few brides who borrowed from mothers or designed dresses in partnership with independent labels, most wore haute couture or runway gowns by designers like Alice Temperely or Tom Ford. And usually, one designer gown is not enough: 19 brides changed into another dress for the reception and six brides wore more than three high-end dresses over the course of the wedding festivities.
The most popular designer was Valentino, followed by Giambattista Valli and Oscar de la Renta. Dolce & Gabbana and Olivier Theyskens ranked next. (You may recall Lauren Santo Domingo's Theyskens-designed gown that famously appeared in the Sept. 2008 issue of Vogue.) Fabiola Beracasa — whose wedding Riccardi Tisci called “the best wedding I’ve been to in my life”— wore a custom Givenchy dress that required 1,600 hours of workmanship in the house's haute couture atelier (see above).
THE DESIGNER-AS-GUEST
Since designer gowns are a moot point at this level, the distinguishing mark of a truly sophisticated wedding is securing the designer's attendance as a guest — and 21 brides were lucky enough to pull it off. Examples include Molly Fishkin, whose dress was created by close friends Ashley and Mary Kate Olsen (see above), and Elizabeth Cordry, who had an extremely special visit from Oscar de la Renta shortly before he passed away on the day of her marriage (#thismasticmoment) to Anna Wintour's son Charlie Shaffer (see below).

Pope weighs in on divorced Catholics who remarry

Pope Francis declared on Wednesday that divorced Catholics who remarry, as well as their children, deserve better treatment from the church, warning pastors against treating these couples as if they were excommunicated.
Catholic teaching considers divorced Catholics who remarry are living in sin and are not allowed to receive Communion, leaving many of these people feeling shunned by their church.

Pope Francis is greeted by newlyweds during a general audience at the Vatican's Paul VI hall on August 5, 2015. FILIPPO MONTEFORTE/AFP/GETTY IMAGES
Francis' emphasis on mercy in church leadership has raised hope among many such Catholics that he might lift the Communion ban. Catholics who divorce after a church marriage but don't take up a new union, such as a second marriage, can receive Communion.
"Lots of people feel alienated from the church, they don't feel welcome there," Candida Moss, theologian professor at the University of Notre Dame, told CBS News correspondent Don Dahler in September. "But it seems like Francis is saying that the church has to be more progressive, it needs to be more practical and it needs to be more compassionate."
The Vatican this fall is holding a month-long follow-up meeting on family issues, after a similar gathering last year left divorced Catholics who remarry hoping in vain that a quick end to the ban would have resulted from those discussions.
In his latest remarks on divorce, Francis didn't go that far. But he insisted on an attitude change in the church. "How do we take care of those who, following the irreversible failing of their family bond made a new union?" he said.
"People who started a new union after the defeat of their sacramental marriage are not at all excommunicated, and they absolutely must not be treated that way," Francis told pilgrims and tourists at his first general audience after a summer break. "They always belong to the church." The church, he said, must be one of "open doors."
The pope acknowledged that church teaching considers "taking up a new union" after divorce wrong.
"The church knows well that such a situation contradicts the Christian sacrament," of marriage. Still, Francis said, the church must always "seek the well-being and salvation of persons."
Francis wondered how the church can insist that the children of these failed marriage be raised by their parents "with an example of convinced and practiced faith, if we keep them (the parents) far from the community life (of the church) as if they were excommunicated?"
He exhorted pastors "not to add additional weight beyond what the children in this situation have to bear. Unfortunately the numbers of these children and young people are truly great."
In his papacy, Francis has frequently suggested seeing situations through the eyes of others.
"If we look at these new ties with the eyes of young children ... we see ever more the urgency to develop in our community true welcome toward people living in these situations," Francis said.
Other than being widowed, the only possible way for Catholics who marry in the church to remarry is receiving an annulment. That long, complicated process essentially involves examining whether the marriage never existed in the first place. Grounds for annulment include refusal by a spouse to have children.
Previous pontiffs had complained that annulments in some places, notably in the United States, were being granted too liberally.
Francis ended his weekly audience by greetings newlyweds in attendance - brides and grooms in their wedding outfits.

Top do's and don'ts from etiquette expert William Hanson

From 'naff figures' on top of the cake to flashing too much flesh, opinionated etiquette expert William Hanson separates the distinguished from the downright rude.
The happy couple
Presents
Asking for money instead of presents is very bad form. I’ve even heard of bank details being printed on the invitation – this is grim indeed. You should have a
gift list, but also allow people to buy you things that aren’t on the list.
Cake
Figures on a wedding cake are a no-no
A fruit cake is a nice tradition, and it is lovely to keep the top layer for your first child’s christening (if it’s made with enough alcohol, fruit cake lasts a very long time). Naff little figures on top of the cake are not the done thing.
Music
If you choose to have a DJ rather than a band or a string quartet, remember that many of the older generation – or, in fact, anyone with any taste – may choose to slip away early. Don’t assume your granny is going to enjoy dancing to David Guetta as much as you do, so try to cater to all tastes.
Tables
Consider naming the tables after something personal to you, such as houses you’ve lived in, countries you’ve visited together, or your favourite flowers.
Reception
Limiting some guests to reception-only is sure to create problems. People may get het up about it, and it’s a disaster that can be avoided. If you don’t like them enough to invite them to the wedding ceremony, why are you having them there in the evening?
Bridesmaids and ushers
Have a maximum of THREE bridesmaids
Having too many bridesmaids makes your big day look like something from a celebrity magazine, not a chic royal wedding.
Three is absolute maximum, although if you’re getting married in a cathedral, you may allow yourself one or two more. You shouldn’t have too many ushers either, just enough to do the job.
And never ever ask bridesmaids or ushers to buy their own clothes – if you can’t afford their outfits,have fewer of them.
Invitations
Postal invitations should always be sent (about eight weeks in advance) – never invite people on Facebook or by email.
You can tell a lot about the type of wedding it will be from the invitation:if it’s fun and jolly, it will probably be a relaxed affair; if the invite is in a traditional style, it will most likely be a more formal event.
Bridal showers
Just awful – it’s presumptuous to expect to be showered with gifts. If you do have a bridal shower, it should not be organised by the bride or any direct family members, and you shouldn’t expect additional presents at the wedding.
Guests
Yea or nay?
Never do Facebook invites
Respond to the invitation within two to three days. Traditionally, responses should be written in the third person, repeating the invitation back.
Nowadays you may phone or email your response.
Parents
Remember to be a help rather than a hindrance. If you’re paying for the wedding, then you do have more of a say, and your children need to accept this. The bride’s parents should not be expected to pay for everything any more – the cost should be shared.
Children
If a child’s name isn’t on the invite, they are not invited. It’s worth double-checking with the couple, but don’t pressure them to invite your offspring. It’s up to them whether they want children there.
Photos
Getty Try not to upload photos of the day until the bride and groom have
Don’t post pictures on social media before the bride and groom have uploaded theirs. And if you have a photograph of the bride not looking her best, don’t share it.
What to wear
Gents
If morning dress is not specified, make sure you ask whether it is required. If it’s not morning dress, a chap should wear a lounge suit. In the summer, you can get away with a lighter suit, or a linen one if it’s too hot for a wool one. The top
button must always be done up, and a tie has to be worn.
Ladies
You must wear tights, even if it is a summer wedding. Traditionally, you should also wear a hat and gloves too – if it’s morning dress, this is a must. Your dress should not be higher than the knee, particularly if the wedding is in a church.
Rex Save your biggest hat for Ascot not your friends' nuptials
Black and white
It’s bad luck to wear black at a wedding, not to mention poor taste. Also, in the summer, black is the last colour you want to wear, as you’re going to boil. And don’t go for white unless you’re the bride.
Elements of black or white in your dress are fine, but turning up in an LBD is just not the done thing.
Hats
If it’s a formal church wedding, it’s likely you’ll be expected to wear a hat. If you’re unsure, check with the bride or groom beforehand.
But remember, it’s not Royal Ascot where you can wear huge hats with wide brims, as you’ll obscure the view of the ceremony for the people sitting behind you. A lady always keeps her hat on in church, whereas a man should take it off.

What to do when weddings bring out worst

Dear Carolyn: My friend is having a destination wedding. We have small children, which would make travel very difficult, and we have nobody to leave them with at home. And while we could technically afford it, it would set us back more than we are comfortable with; we'd be using our "if something bad happens, we need this" pot.
We do not question our decision to send our regrets. The problem is that our friend is taking this personally, and the guilt trips, while relatively mild, are persistent. I really think that if you have a wedding that requires (multiple!) planes, you need to recognize your guest list may shrink and not blame guests who are unable to make the trip.
I'm struggling to say this in a kind way. I've said other things about the difficulty of travel with kids, although not the bit about the money, since I don't like sharing finances with friends and worry the friend would also take our prioritizing of our rainy-day fund personally, too. Any suggestions?
Dear Blues: Often, clarity is kindness. Next time Friend cranks out the guilt: "Multiple planes + small kids = non-starter. You seem to be taking this personally; am I hearing you correctly?"
Get it out there. Say what you need to say; listen to what you need to listen to. Then, that's it — you no longer engage on this topic.
Normally, I'd skip right to the do-not-engage square, since "no" is both a complete sentence and a sufficient response to an invitation. However, your attempts to say this "in a kind way" suggest you've undermined your goal of communication by mincing around the truth. So, be direct, then be done.
Dear Carolyn: I have a very dear friend who is about to get married in a family-only wedding. She has also announced she will be having a wedding reception two days after Thanksgiving. My in-laws are super-sensitive about any perceived slights, given the (not very much) time we commit to spending with them, and we committed to Thanksgiving this year. They live far from the reception location.
If this were my friend's actual wedding, I would go no matter what. But for a party, I don't want to take on the hassle involved in finding a way there. I've often used your wedding advice as a guide, but I don't know what you would think about a pseudo-wedding.
Dear Attending: Scoff much? This isn't a "re-enactment" or a "pseudo-wedding," it's a reception. If you just don't want to go, then don't go, but at least give your "very dear friend" the benefit of the doubt.
I often advise an after-the-fact reception as a solution to many problems that plague weddings — including, but not limited to, high costs, planning hassles, problematic family members, loved ones who live far from a wedding site and a desire for an intimate wedding but an inclusive celebration.
If anyone deserves skepticism here, it's people too "super-sensitive" to defer to a very dear friend's life celebration, especially if you go solo and their child comes as planned for Thanksgiving. But maybe that's just me.

MSC Lirica to feature in BBC’s primetime TV show Don’t Tell The Bride

The show, which will move from BBC3 to a new primetime slot at 8pm on BBC1, follows grooms as they plan an entire wedding celebration on their own without any input from their brides-to-be.
In the third episode of the ninth series, Manchester-based Mark Kelly will prepare a theatrical wedding aboard cruise ship MSC Lirica for sweetheart Kelly Roughley. Kelly had already found her sea legs as she previously worked aboard cruise ships but Mark had never been to sea before. Despite appearing to be the perfect venue in Mark’s eyes in true Don’t Tell The Bride style, Kelly will be expecting something much more traditional.
The couple currently work together as presenters, actors, singers, a magician/illusionist duo, and children’s entertainers. They used to host Salford City Radio’s drive time show and also spent two weeks on Channel 4’s Coach Trip in 2014.
MSC Cruises executive director UK and Ireland Giles Hawke said the show would introduce the brand to a new audience of younger, fun-loving potential clients. He said “Don’t Tell The Bride has become a real cult classic and attracts fantastic viewing figures. The fact that it is switching to a primetime spot on BBC1 demonstrates how popular it has become.”
He continued, “MSC Cruises invests in marketing in a very different way from our rivals in the UK. We aim to maximise our exposure in clever ways and demonstrate what makes us different and special. An MSC cruise is for people who love life, don’t take themselves too seriously and want a real holiday rather than a more staid and stuffy experience. We decided to take part because we have the utmost confidence in our on-board events teams and knew the staff on MSC Lirica would be able to handle any of the requests thrown at them. The programme highlights what a great job they do and what a great alternative wedding venue an MSC Cruises ship can be.”
MSC Cruises offers three different types of wedding packages which all include the services of a dedicated wedding planner. Prices for the silver, gold and platinum packages start from €490, €590, and €690 respectively (approximately £354, £426 and £498 respectively). The wedding planners work with couples to handle all the details of planning the wedding and ceremonial packages include options for everything from photography and video, music, fresh flowers, food and beverage and a cake. Weddings on-board are symbolic so couples need to have a legal ceremony on land too.
This hour-long episode was filmed on-board MSC Lirica in September 2014 and is scheduled to air on Wednesday 8 July at 8pm on BBC1. The new series of Don’t Tell The Bride starts on Wednesday 24 June.
MSC Cruises is the latest cruise line to be featured in a television show. Earlier this year Azamara Club Cruises’ vessels featured in Nigel Marven’s nature documentary Cruise Ship Adventures. Last year, Princess Cruises’ Royal Princess featured in the fly-on-the-wall documentary The Cruise Ship.

Two Bridal Designers Are Here and Taking Your Same-Sex Wedding Questions

It’s LGBT Pride Month, and we’re so excited to have wedding dress designer Kpoene’ Kofi-Nicklin, the Creative Director of Mignonette Bridal, back to answer any and all questions you have about same-sex weddings. This time, Kpoene’ has asked her friends and colleagues Cindy Savage and Julia Zayas-Melendez, of Crafty Broads, to join us as well.
Cindy and Julia founded Crafty Broads, a Chicago-based company that offers custom wedding garments, restyles, and alterations for every gender, as well as wedding planning services, in 2010.
Before we turn you loose on them, we had a few questions of our own.
What wedding-wear trends are you seeing among same-sex couples?
Kpoene’: Couples are choosing to wear things that make them happy, rather than going too matchy-matchy. I don’t personally work with any male couples because I specialize in wedding gowns, but we see a lot of ladies rocking amazing style, whether their gown is a bespoke confection from my shop, Mignonette, or a retro style from Modcloth. I am really happy at how far LGBT weddings have come in the last ten years — when I was planning my wedding, it felt like the options were very limited because it wasn’t a guarantee that vendors would even want to work with you. This might sound weird, but I feel like we are finally giving ourselves permission to have celebrations that are as beautiful and special and over-the-top as our straight friends’ weddings.
Cindy & Julia: We’re seeing a lot of couples choose to coordinate, but not match, in color and/or material choices! For example, we made a pair of suits last year with a purple brocade jacket and black pants for one bride, while her wife selected a coordinating purple silk for her blouse to wear with her black suit.
How are the options changing in terms of what a same-sex couple has available to them, sartorially, when it comes to weddings?
Kpoene’: A lot of amazing companies have popped up recently that cater to female-bodied folks who want to wear beautiful suits, like Saint Harridan and the Butch Clothing Co. It is great knowing that you no longer have to buy a boxy men’s suit and try to have it tailored to accommodate hips and boobs, all while worrying that you are going to be humiliated by the sales staff. At the same time, a custom suit does come with a large price tag, but it is so worth it because you can wear it again and again. My wife had an amazing silver jacquard suit made for our wedding and she wears it to formal events all the time.
Cindy & Julia: Well, the sky is the limit when you choose something custom! Our specialty is collaboration with our clients; we work directly with them to turn their inspirations and ideas into the garment they dream up. We don’t really follow fashion trends; rather, we encourage people to wear what suits them best — so the options are essentially unlimited.
In the ready-to-wear sector, we’re seeing a variety of options come into our shop for alteration. The strapless ballgown as a mandate for women is done. Vintage-inspired styles, short dresses, and sleeves are in. We’re also altering many more suits for women to wear instead of a wedding dress, and getting requests for custom dresses for men!
How can a couple avoid looking too matchy-matchy if both women choose to wear suits or both women choose to wear dresses?
Kpoene’: Hopefully individual style will come into play. A lot of couples might want to match, but will also choose to mix it up by wearing different-colored ties or vests, or in the case of two gowns, maybe different-colored accessories. At the same time, two white gowns or two suits next to each other are naturally going to look similar. Just know that you don’t have to wear the same thing as your partner. We actually didn’t book a vendor because she assumed we would be wearing matching dresses. It was such an odd question to have to field.
Cindy & Julia: The key is coordination — choose the same fabric or color (or both), but not the same style. One may wear a short dress with a full skirt while the other wears a long sheath, but they select the same shade of ivory; for suits they might choose an accent color which one wears in a vest or tie and the other in a shirt or blouse.
Do you have any advice for women who feel pressure from their family to wear dresses, when they would prefer to wear pants?
Kpoene’: Ugh, this is the worst. I do know some brides whose families pressured them into wearing gowns, and they were miserable the entire time (plus, they had to spend money on dresses they didn’t want to wear).
Since family is a delicate thing to negotiate, my biggest piece of advice to any bride or groom or broom or gride is to pick your battles. If mom is leaning on you to wear a froofy dress, but isn’t paying for it, try to delicately let her know that since this is coming out of your pocket, you will make the choice about what to wear. Alternately, wear the damn dress for the ceremony and change into something flattering and comfortable for the party. Your fiancé understands and will love you either way. In the end, whatever is going to get you through the day with a minimum of shouting is the right answer.
Cindy & Julia: Time to stand up and speak for themselves! It’s your wedding, you should wear what you want, and the people who love and support you will continue to do so no matter how you’re dressed. As with many wedding-related decisions, everyone — especially family — has opinions, but it is up to the couple to decide what’s most important for their wedding day. (And the old adage applies: It’s better to apologize later than to ask permission now.)
Speaking of pants! Can you recommend designers and stores where women can find formal suits?
Kpoene’: Yes! I adore Saint Harridan! And in Chicago of course we have Crafty Broads!!! I am also a big fan of J Crew’s women’s suits, which my wife looks quite dashing in, and DapperQ has a great style blog for female-bodied people looking for sartorial advice. Bindle and Keep is another good one. So much attention is finally being paid to this segment of the market, it is really awesome to see all the options!
At Bridal Market this year I also noticed that several of the bigger gown companies are now offering beautiful Marlene Dietrich-style women’s tuxedos, which signals a massive shift in the market. It’s really exciting to see what companies are paying attention.
Cindy & Julia: Come to us for a custom suit, of course! =)
For a good made-to-measure option, ladies can check out St. Harridan, but do expect to pay a tailor for minor adjustments and finishing details — as with standard menswear, suits often come with unfinished hems and buttons awaiting exact placement.
Women can also try a traditional menswear store. Shop for a jacket that fits well in the shoulders and pants which fit the hips; again expect to see a tailor for fitting it properly.

7 Ways To Wear Patterns When You're Plus Size And Wanna Spice Up Your Workwear

As a freelance writer and small business owner, I am lucky enough that I can go to my office wearing a 2 Chainz concert t-shirt and on some days, I totally do. But many women who look like me have corporate jobs that require plus size professional wear. And while I definitely got called in by HR at one of my past corporate jobs because I wore too much “loud jewelry,” I love the challenge of maintaining personal style while fitting into company dress standards.
My best friend, Kristen, snagged her first corporate job last year that actually required her to dress up to work. Kristen and I are the kind of co-dependent friends who consult each other before we make any purchase — online or in-store. So when Kristen landed this job, I was already mentally going through her closet in my head and putting together outfits. We made very few new purchases and still managed to put together a month’s worth of outfits that earned her daily compliments from her new co-workers.
In the six months since Kristen started in corporate, I’ve realized how important it is as a plus-size woman to not get stuck in the black blazer, black pencil skirt, black sleeveless shell, and black pants rut. Mixing fun patterns with her go-to basics is one of Kristen’s favorite corporate style hacks.
As a size 18 on a budget, she does a lot of her shopping at JCPenney, Old Navy, Cat’s Closet and, of course, Ready to Stare for her accessories. Even though she really hates having her picture taken, I pulled the best friend card and asked Kristen to let me take her photo in seven of our favorite pattern-mixing professional looks.
These gradient print pants are one of the few purchases Kristen made without my knowledge and when I first saw her in them, I was so impressed! The cut of the Old Navypixie ankle pants is so perfect to wear with heels or flats and all of the fun patterns make it super easy to pair with a plain top like Kristen’s go-to style from JCPenney. These pants only go up to a size 20 at Old Navy but Eloquii offers a similar style up to a size 28.
3. Cheetah Print Pencil Skirt
Kristen grabbed this skirt from indie business, Cat’s Closet, that sells second-hand plus-size garments that are usually all under $20. Kristen has alerts on her phone for when Cat’s Closet posts its new items because there’s always only one of each item available. She paired the look with a single chain belt from my line Ready to Stare for a little gaudy, corporate realness.
4. Tropical Trousers
Kristen and I affectionately call these her “Olivia Pope pants” because they remind us of a silhouette that Kerry Washington might wear on Scandal when she’s being a total boss. Kristen initially didn’t see my vision with these pants when I made her try them on at JCPenney, but paired with a sleek bun and bow blouse, this look is totally chic and professional and a far cry from that suit your mom made you buy when you interviewed for your first internship in college.
5. ’80s Print Peplum
I’m usually anti-peplum but this dress is another one of Kristen’s second-hand finds from Cat’s Closet and it’s pretty much adorable on her. The simplicity of the black and white pattern pairs nicely with a fun coral colored shoe and gold chain necklace. The high-cut neckline makes it work appropriate for someone like Kristen who is bigger-chested.
6. Architecture Tank
This tank was a score from the JCPenney sale rack and the graphic pattern, which reminds me of the Chrysler building, makes a bold statement and pairs easily with black basics. Kristen wears this tank tucked into a high-waisted pencil skirt or underneath a blazer with trousers.
7. Red Polka Dot Pants
Kristen really loves the Old Navy pixie ankle pants so she has a few pairs including this red polka dot pair. The color alone stands out so the polka dot pattern is perfectly subtle. Kristen added her favorite black basic top and a layered chain bracelet from my line.