It’s LGBT Pride Month, and we’re so excited to have wedding dress designer
Kpoene’ Kofi-Nicklin, the Creative Director of Mignonette Bridal, back to answer
any and all questions you have about same-sex weddings. This time, Kpoene’ has
asked her friends and colleagues Cindy Savage and Julia Zayas-Melendez, of
Crafty Broads, to join us as well.
Cindy and Julia founded Crafty Broads, a Chicago-based company that offers
custom wedding garments, restyles, and alterations for every gender, as well as
wedding planning services, in 2010.
Before we turn you loose on them, we had a few questions of our own.
What wedding-wear trends are you seeing among same-sex couples?
Kpoene’: Couples are choosing to wear things that make them happy, rather
than going too matchy-matchy. I don’t personally work with any male couples
because I specialize in wedding gowns, but we see a lot of ladies rocking
amazing style, whether their gown is a bespoke confection from my shop,
Mignonette, or a retro style from Modcloth. I am really happy at how far LGBT
weddings have come in the last ten years — when I was planning my wedding, it
felt like the options were very limited because it wasn’t a guarantee that
vendors would even want to work with you. This might sound weird, but I feel
like we are finally giving ourselves permission to have celebrations that are as
beautiful and special and over-the-top as our straight friends’ weddings.
Cindy & Julia: We’re seeing a lot of couples choose to coordinate, but
not match, in color and/or material choices! For example, we made a pair of
suits last year with a purple brocade jacket and black pants for one bride,
while her wife selected a coordinating purple silk for her blouse to wear with
her black suit.
How are the options changing in terms of what a same-sex couple has available
to them, sartorially, when it comes to weddings?
Kpoene’: A lot of amazing companies have popped up recently that cater to
female-bodied folks who want to wear beautiful suits, like Saint Harridan and
the Butch Clothing Co. It is great knowing that you no longer have to buy a boxy
men’s suit and try to have it tailored to accommodate hips and boobs, all while
worrying that you are going to be humiliated by the sales staff. At the same
time, a custom suit does come with a large price tag, but it is so worth it
because you can wear it again and again. My wife had an amazing silver jacquard
suit made for our wedding and she wears it to formal events all the time.
Cindy & Julia: Well, the sky is the limit when you choose something
custom! Our specialty is collaboration with our clients; we work directly with
them to turn their inspirations and ideas into the garment they dream up. We
don’t really follow fashion trends; rather, we encourage people to wear what
suits them best — so the options are essentially unlimited.
In the ready-to-wear sector, we’re seeing a variety of options come into our
shop for alteration. The strapless ballgown as a mandate for women is done.
Vintage-inspired styles, short dresses, and sleeves are in. We’re also altering
many more suits for women to wear instead of a wedding dress, and getting
requests for custom dresses for men!
How can a couple avoid looking too matchy-matchy if both women choose to wear
suits or both women choose to wear dresses?
Kpoene’: Hopefully individual style will come into play. A lot of couples
might want to match, but will also choose to mix it up by wearing
different-colored ties or vests, or in the case of two gowns, maybe
different-colored accessories. At the same time, two white gowns or two suits
next to each other are naturally going to look similar. Just know that you don’t
have to wear the same thing as your partner. We actually didn’t book a vendor
because she assumed we would be wearing matching dresses. It was such an odd
question to have to field.
Cindy & Julia: The key is coordination — choose the same fabric or color
(or both), but not the same style. One may wear a short dress with a full skirt
while the other wears a long sheath, but they select the same shade of ivory;
for suits they might choose an accent color which one wears in a vest or tie and
the other in a shirt or blouse.
Do you have any advice for women who feel pressure from their family to wear
dresses, when they would prefer to wear pants?
Kpoene’: Ugh, this is the worst. I do know some brides whose families
pressured them into wearing gowns, and they were miserable the entire time
(plus, they had to spend money on dresses they didn’t want to wear).
Since family is a delicate thing to negotiate, my biggest piece of advice to
any bride or groom or broom or gride is to pick your battles. If mom is leaning
on you to wear a froofy dress, but isn’t paying for it, try to delicately let
her know that since this is coming out of your pocket, you will make the choice
about what to wear. Alternately, wear the damn dress for the ceremony and change
into something flattering and comfortable for the party. Your fiancé understands
and will love you either way. In the end, whatever is going to get you through
the day with a minimum of shouting is the right answer.
Cindy & Julia: Time to stand up and speak for themselves! It’s your
wedding, you should wear what you want, and the people who love and support you
will continue to do so no matter how you’re dressed. As with many
wedding-related decisions, everyone — especially family — has opinions, but it
is up to the couple to decide what’s most important for their wedding day. (And
the old adage applies: It’s better to apologize later than to ask permission
now.)
Speaking of pants! Can you recommend designers and stores where women can
find formal suits?
Kpoene’: Yes! I adore Saint Harridan! And in Chicago of course we have Crafty
Broads!!! I am also a big fan of J Crew’s women’s suits, which my wife looks
quite dashing in, and DapperQ has a great style blog for female-bodied people
looking for sartorial advice. Bindle and Keep is another good one. So much
attention is finally being paid to this segment of the market, it is really
awesome to see all the options!
At Bridal Market this year I also noticed that several of the bigger gown
companies are now offering beautiful Marlene Dietrich-style women’s tuxedos,
which signals a massive shift in the market. It’s really exciting to see what
companies are paying attention.
Cindy & Julia: Come to us for a custom suit, of course! =)
For a good made-to-measure option, ladies can check out St. Harridan, but do
expect to pay a tailor for minor adjustments and finishing details — as with
standard menswear, suits often come with unfinished hems and buttons awaiting
exact placement.
Women can also try a traditional menswear store. Shop for a jacket that fits
well in the shoulders and pants which fit the hips; again expect to see a tailor
for fitting it properly.
